because of Him

It’s not because the novelty of no homework has worn off. Or because I’m excited about sacrificing my weekend trips to reading text books. Or because there is just too much money in my savings.

It’s really about learning more about myself and God. It’s becoming the person I really want to be and am not quite sure how to be right now. It’s learning to have an overflow of love for others. And it’s about loving God and my relationship with Him.

I don’t have grand expectations, because I’m not quite sure what to expect and reality is always a little different. But I am excited to start Grad. School. Though it was a journey in itself and took a bit of patience, I was accepted into the Institute for Spiritual Formation. In the Fall, I will begin working toward my Master’s degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care!

Thank you to those who have prayed for me through this time. I can’t wait to begin this new journey. I know it will be difficult, thus I am a little scared. But I have confidence that good is the result of hard situations and emotions. So here is to homework and deepening my knowledge and relationship with the Lord in an exciting new way!

les fleurs

I visited my grandparents this weekend and not only did I return home with cake, but with these beautiful roses. She planted them earlier this year and they are in full bloom. I was in awe of their gorgeous color that this photo does not do justice to. They certainly add a touch of happiness to my office.

retreat

I stayed here last week. My mom and I went to visit family in Maryland and had a wonderful time. As you can imagine, it was hard leaving this beautiful log home of our cousins in the woods to return to concrete abundant California. Instead of returning to my apartment this weekend, I continued my vacation at my parent's house prolonging my return to responsibility. Unfortunately, it hit me hard this morning after a freezing cold shower because me nor the other four girls had successfully transferred our gas/electric accounts over to our new place. Oops! Thankfully, the "gas man" was scheduled to come this morning so tomorrow I should have a hot shower again.

the librarian

I was told I looked like a librarian today.

The last time I was told I looked like a librarian was in sixth grade. My friend Deanna was turning 12 and her parents took us to Las Vegas for a weekend to see the Backstreet Boys. It was my first concert besides The Beach Boys and local concerts at the fair. I was, needless to say, excited — even though I couldn't tell the difference between N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys at the time.

The day of the concert we went back to the hotel to get all dolled up. I had brought the new pale blue crocheted sweater my Mom had bought me at Nordstroms. I got dressed and with butterfly clips intact asked how I looked. I was consequently told I looked like a librarian. I remember being slightly horrified because in sixth grade, it was obvious that a librarian was soo un-cool.

Today, I didn't really mind being called a librarian. In fact, I'd take it as a compliment.


*Deanna and I are still good friends and laugh about this now. Just to note.

talking about green

I've never liked to spend much money. Well, that may not be completely truthful. I love to spend money, however, I strongly dislike seeing it leave my pocket.

As a kid, when my parents would give me spending money, I would use as little as possible and then store the rest away in my piggy bank. I loved the idea of saving. I think I get it from my penny-pinching father. However, the idea even transferred over into food. When we had parties at school, more often than not if there were cupcakes or brownies or some sort of sweet of the sort, it would be stored away in my desk until later...when I thought I would enjoy it more.

So last week when my friends and I played "Would you rather?" and I got the question "Would you rather have someone give you one million dollars now or ten million in ten years?" Of course, I said ten million in ten years.

Well, now when I see something and say "I could make that." I'd rather take the time to make it, than spend money and get the instant satisfaction. In the end, I've found I always get more satisfaction from blood, sweat and tears...or rather, time, craftiness and art, then just purchasing something someone else made. Although, I'll admit, I think some of my projects and "I can make that" ideas turn out to be more expensive than the store bought piece. But to me, it's worth more.

The photo at the top is a sneak peek of a project I'm working on right now. More to come soon!

the fourth

Summer was a time of happiness, barbecues, family get togethers and ultimately celebration growing up. My family would host a block party every year when we first moved into the neighborhood. We would pass out flyers a few weeks before and on that hot summer day of the party we would pull out lawn chairs, the ping pong table, basketballs and every other "toy" we had. My dad would set out ice chests full of drinks. One for the kids with soda and juice. One for the adults with beer and Coronas, only complete with a plate of sliced limes.

All the kids on the street, which there were a lot back then since it was a new neighborhood with lots of young families, would bring their bikes and roller blades and we would all ride up and down the street racing each other, sometimes almost in parade fashion. I remember loving those parties. And sometimes we would have everyone in our backyard for a pool party splashing every adult that dared to come near the pool, fighting for the rafts and noodles. It was a time when we were carefree, nothing could hurt us. Me, the other kids, nor my family.

As time went on, as it does, the kids grew older and families changed. Some parents on the street divorced, some of the kids grew too old to play with the younger ones and we all became very self aware around junior high when you just couldn't all be friends with everyone for some odd reason. The block parties eventually stopped and summer friday happy hours that another one of our neighbors hosted ended too.

I feel as though Fourth of July is kind of like New Year's Eve, it's always a great time if you have some fabulous party to go too, but if not, you end up home alone with your parents - something I found horrifying in high school. Yesterday, I was tempted to go to a few parties, but in the end, I realized I really just wanted to be that kid again with my family at a summer neighborhood block party. The problem was, that wasn't possible because there was no such thing yesterday in my neighborhood. But there was my family.

So I didn't attend a great exciting fourth of July party or even see an amazing fireworks spectacular at the lake or local park, but I did get to spend the day with my small family, however much its changed over the years. And last night after barbecuing burgers with my Dad and sitting in my grandparent's back yard next to my Uncle watching about five different fireworks shows across Orange County - only extremely small in the distance - hearing that boom, boom, boom far off, made me feel a bit like a kid again. I wasn't with a lot of people nor did we have a huge food spread or even lay out by the pool, but I spent the day with family on a hot summer afternoon and evening - the people that love me the most and the people I want to love the most.