id cards

I was wearing my favorite orange tank top, the perfect fitting boyfriend jeans and my rainbows. I had just cut my hair short and made sure every strand was straightened with a little flip at the end. With my freshly washed VW Beetle, I drove an unfamiliar route that now feels like home to me. 

Waiting in the parking lot next to Alpha Chi dormitory, unusually early,  I sat nervous. I double checked myself and wondered if I should have chosen my olive button up jersey instead. I reapplied my lip gloss five times. I prayed. And then they arrived. My new roommates. At the time, strangers. 

I paused to get out of the car until I saw their car doors open. Kolbey got out of the car first, then Jen. I remember seeing Kolbey standing at 6 feet tall and just thinking, she is so pretty. And of course, Jen was just as gorgeous. We introduced ourselves and quickly found that we all didn't drink soda, but loved Shirley Temples. And it was obvious from the start, that we all loved to laugh! 

We walked around campus and found our dorm, the one we would share in just a few weeks. We got our ID cards and then went to lunch. I learned from the get go, that Kolbey loved mustard and Jen was allergic to nuts. And mostly, learned that I didn't need to be nervous. I could be myself around these girls that I'm now proud to call friends even after 5 years. 

I went and got my ID card as a graduate student this week. I couldn't help but recall the first time I went into that office and the three of us girls stood in line and insured each other our ID pictures looked great. And I couldn't help but thank God. 

I had no idea that I would be here, in this place that I am today. That He would be so instrumental in my life and use so many different people in the last five years, two of those being Kolbey and Jen, and so on with the amazing women I lived with and the wonderful Hart RDs, the Lows. I had no idea when we walked into that dorm, that it would be a place that would foster so much growth, friendship and love. Nor did I realize Biola would be. 

As I start a new journey, although in a now familiar place, I hope I am just as astonished when I finish graduate school, at the places and situations God has brought me into and out of. Although, I write this nervously similar to how I sat in that car double checking myself and praying, I know that what awaits me is nothing to be nervous about, it's something to be excited about.  

because of Him

It’s not because the novelty of no homework has worn off. Or because I’m excited about sacrificing my weekend trips to reading text books. Or because there is just too much money in my savings.

It’s really about learning more about myself and God. It’s becoming the person I really want to be and am not quite sure how to be right now. It’s learning to have an overflow of love for others. And it’s about loving God and my relationship with Him.

I don’t have grand expectations, because I’m not quite sure what to expect and reality is always a little different. But I am excited to start Grad. School. Though it was a journey in itself and took a bit of patience, I was accepted into the Institute for Spiritual Formation. In the Fall, I will begin working toward my Master’s degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care!

Thank you to those who have prayed for me through this time. I can’t wait to begin this new journey. I know it will be difficult, thus I am a little scared. But I have confidence that good is the result of hard situations and emotions. So here is to homework and deepening my knowledge and relationship with the Lord in an exciting new way!

happy anniversary

As of Tuesday, June 9, I have been working full time for one year. It is hard to believe that it was just over one year ago that I graduated from college. I love that one year later, I am still enjoying my job, still learning and still "molding" my position.

One thing I've learned since I've been in the work force is not about work at all, but about life - it is constantly evolving. When in the academy, everything is based on the academic year, holidays and breaks. Although I am still on a similar schedule because I work at a university, my life no longer revolves around the academy. I no longer have a schedule for my life in terms of school. I have no idea what the following year will hold or where I will be. Yes, I plan on staying at my job, but essentially that could change in an instant.

The wheels in my mind are constantly turning to what is next (something I am always keen on) and now in the work force, I have the resources to take action on many of the actions those wheels "turn out" and the time. With that, my life plan is always changing as I take action on new ideas and happenings. I no longer have a planned academic year. My life is mine, well God's - to do with it as he guides. And although, this was the case when I was in college, I am now much more aware of it.

So Happy Anniversary to me and another year of learning, loving, and taking action - in life and at my job!

attempting to fly

I recall sitting in a class and my professor asking me to write a piece for a book she was publishing. It was a compilation of different student’s life lessons learned in their time at college. I contemplated the idea and was frankly excited. 

I don’t believe I ever turned in a final article.

This last Fall, the book was published and of course, no article by me was written in it. However, the 60 entries published written by students from more than 20 universities are an insightful look into college life. 

This leads me to ask a few questions. What is an opportunity if it is never taken? What is the path not taken if it is never really taken? And what is the point of networking if you never really use your network?

With that said, I’m applying. The fingertips of my mind have found different paths laid out in front of me and I decided to not only be excited about the fact that there are those paths, but to actually apply myself and take one. Because really my main excuse for not doing things (busyness) is a horrible one. And an endless one at that.

So I had my year of restoration. It was a year of transition, a year of challenges and new adventures and figuring a little bit more about life. I think each year will be similarly a time of transition if I really do embark upon new things and take up these opportunities. But that is exciting and I am embracing change.

With that, I’m applying with courage (and a touch of nervousness) to Biola’s Institute for Spiritual Formation. They receive approximately 80 to 90 applicants and accept approximately 30 so my chances are slim. Therefore, my trust is in God in this process. And if I am not accepted, at least I applied and trusted.

Like I said, what is an opportunity if it is not taken or attempted. And what is a path not taken if it really isn’t ever taken?