attempting to fly

I recall sitting in a class and my professor asking me to write a piece for a book she was publishing. It was a compilation of different student’s life lessons learned in their time at college. I contemplated the idea and was frankly excited. 

I don’t believe I ever turned in a final article.

This last Fall, the book was published and of course, no article by me was written in it. However, the 60 entries published written by students from more than 20 universities are an insightful look into college life. 

This leads me to ask a few questions. What is an opportunity if it is never taken? What is the path not taken if it is never really taken? And what is the point of networking if you never really use your network?

With that said, I’m applying. The fingertips of my mind have found different paths laid out in front of me and I decided to not only be excited about the fact that there are those paths, but to actually apply myself and take one. Because really my main excuse for not doing things (busyness) is a horrible one. And an endless one at that.

So I had my year of restoration. It was a year of transition, a year of challenges and new adventures and figuring a little bit more about life. I think each year will be similarly a time of transition if I really do embark upon new things and take up these opportunities. But that is exciting and I am embracing change.

With that, I’m applying with courage (and a touch of nervousness) to Biola’s Institute for Spiritual Formation. They receive approximately 80 to 90 applicants and accept approximately 30 so my chances are slim. Therefore, my trust is in God in this process. And if I am not accepted, at least I applied and trusted.

Like I said, what is an opportunity if it is not taken or attempted. And what is a path not taken if it really isn’t ever taken? 

out of my league

As I walked through the baby aisles and counted the number of different types of bibs, binkies and blankies, I realized I was way out of my league. I know nothing about babies — at least not much in comparison to the average woman. 

My eyes scanned the cute little shoes, but I was perplexed. "Would a one-year-old wear size 1,2 or 3? Or are these way too big in the first place? Will a one-year-old even want a pair of shoes? Am I getting them more for the cute factor than for her? It's not like she will remember what I gave her." 

I called my mom. "What do you buy a one-year-old?" I wanted to get something for her she would like, not just something I thought was adorable. "Well, a baby would want a toy most likely." I agreed. 

So at Kylie's first birthday party, she received a toy, bubbles, butterfly sand molds and a book. I wrote an inscription in the book so one day, she may know I gave her a book at her first birthday. Although I really wanted to get her those cute shoes, I think she'll have more fun with the toy...And I really have no idea what size shoe a one-year-old wears. 

twenty.three

I turned 23 last week! TWENTY THREE! Still sounds slightly old (remember, people, I work at a university with youngin's), but I'm getting used to it. I had a fantastic birthday. Things like this amazing J cake made my birthday fabulous! 

Lehua was the creator of this creative, beautiful J. And she gave me the pretty vintage cake platter as my present! Such a fun treat for when I came back to work after I took my birthday off.

(Also, Lehua does more than make cool cakes in her spare time. Check out her website and hire her for your wedding invites or photography! *Bonus points if you find me on her website.)

i dream

Aloft a vibrant tree, I sat amongst the branches in quiet contemplation. It is here where I dreamt. The rain would trickle down through the monotone greens and softly fall around me. The harmony of the weather with my thoughts clouded over anything troublesome in memory. I would build large 3 story houses with decorated attics full of treasures. Walking through the neighborhood, I'd cuddle up in my coat in 70 degree winters in Southern California and pretend I was walking miles in 2 feet of snow. My feet would walk the thin wall behind my house and I'd imagine I was playing follow the leader with my 5 brothers and sisters.

If there is anything I learned from being an only child, it was to dream. When friends couldn't come over or it was dinner time, my house would become an imaginary play house in which I dictated the characters and colors of events. In some ways, I'm sure I could have built better tents with more people, but similarly I didn't have the competition of other children or the arguments over which sheet should be used. As an only child, I was free to dream in any which way they chose to flow no matter any concern of anyone else.

Because of this, I think I am a bit more idealistic, optimistic and ambitious than most. I see almost any positive mark as a sign of continued success no matter how small it may be. I see optimism in often sometimes awful situations. Some see this as a weakness, however, I see it as a better way to dream. So with that, I dream.

I dream of a time completely different than what this world is like now. I dream of owning multiple businesses. I dream of being a published author. I dream of completing multiple masters programs. I dream of being more beautiful than I am now in twenty years. More so, I dream of a day where I find peace - where this world finds peace and evil does not exist. And I dream of the day that I will finally enter heaven and I hope that my dreams will not necessarily be accomplished but that I at least dreamed. And knew that there would one day be a better day because huddled in the tree while rain falls around, there is a greater knowledge that the troubles of our world now really will disappear.

i guess i wouldn't mind being a bear

I realized last week I will be moving once again this summer. When I moved into our tiny room this year, my closet became full quite quickly. And I have continued to outgrow my closet, and my room, for that matter. My stationary desk serves as a night stand and location for newspapers and magazines I wish to read in the near non-ending future and my bookcase serves as a place for my jewelry and miscellaneous decorative pieces that I seem to collect.

But even though I continue to outgrow the space, as I've grown into my little, what I like to call, cave, I have grown to love the smallness. My joy of climbing into bed underneath the bunk bed above me, which has become a home to prayer requests and reminders (similar to my bunk bed freshman year at Biola), it's a place of warmth that I love. I like my little space where everything must fit just so, otherwise, the room will look a mess. And with this also comes creativity in arranging furniture, tidyness and comfort with a candle and mug of coffee.

So although, I will be moving again this summer which makes me sad, I will continue to enjoy the smallness of my space and know that when I look for a new home, bigger does not necessarily mean better. So, with hope, I will be in search of another endearing, quaint and cute cave.

I guess I wouldn't mind being a bear...

paree, anyone?

One of the many perks in living with 9 girls is the house is bound to have a few resident Martha Stewarts. Saturday morning, Meg and I found ourselves in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast, thanks to Megan's great thinking. Cooking an elaborate or simply delicious breakfast has become a somewhat new trend on Saturday mornings to my great delight and this weekend's delight, chosen by Megan, took us to Paris. We made crepes, which turned out to be easier than expected. Megan perfected the crepes while I hand whipped whip cream - talk about an arm workout. The end result was well worth it though.

les crepes:



the toppings:


Unfortunately, we ate the finished product before we could take a photograph. However, you should try making your own, in Megan's words: they are easier than pancakes.

Meg, the Model

She normally shies away from the camera and doesn't enjoy being in the public eye. In fact, many times she told me to put away my camera when people were coming our way. However, my roommate Megan, who I convinced to be a model for a day, turned out to actually be a bit of a model. 

It's been at least one year since I last really used my Nikon SLR, which is sad to say the least, considering I love photography! And I am completely out of practice unless you count my point and shoot. After viewing photography blogs, like Jasmine Star's and Shannon's, religiously the past six months, I decided it was time I pulled my own camera out and relearn how to use the beautiful piece of equipment. I enlisted Megan for a "portrait" session so I could test out lighting and not be horribly embarrassed if the photos turned out awful. I would say it was a success for my first time shooting in a year, although I do have a long ways to go. Here are some I liked.